It is the barren time of year, the lonely time of year, the time for subsisting on less than what is necessary, survival purchased at a steep cost. But if I am truthful, I have felt lonely and lost for a long time now, with only fleeting moments of sunshine in between. So I grit my teeth into the bitter wind that has chilled my heart even in the dead of summer, and tell myself this:
I will not disappear from the blogverse this winter. I will not disappear from the blogverse this winter. I will not disappear from the blogverse this winter.
Repeat until winter is over.
Never mind that I have barely been present in the blogverse for the last 6+ months anyway. I will not disappear completely.
And all you sweet, lovely people who have hung in there so long with me, visiting my blog and leaving kind comments despite the echoing void from Amy-land… I am working on writing you back. Bear with me please. 2012 looks just as wretched as 2011 so far, and I am still dealing with everything from run-of-the-mill busy-ness to my health to deeper personal issues.
But I will not disappear.
I will NOT disappear.
It is also the time of year for hibernation, when things lie dormant in order to endure this harsh season. When the entire world is holding its breath for renewal. As am I.
4 comments
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January 9, 2012 at 4:46 pm
kelly
yes. renewal.
we have been lucky here, winter is so not at all like winter.
i felt stuck all year last year, and this year, i feel my feet itching to move forward. so hang in there. sometimes, what feels like stuck is simmering instead.
xoxo
January 9, 2012 at 5:01 pm
Patricia Clark
always always love your photos, your beautiful words that say so much in so little. please don’t disappear…keep shooting, keep writing…we need your words.
January 10, 2012 at 6:40 pm
Debi
you won’t disappear. i won’t let you.
January 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm
sassysistersink
i won’t let you disappear, either. your words and photos add beauty to the world. we need that. we need you.